We made it.

We did it, we got her home, words can't describe the relief.

I got down to the hospital at about 9 (I have taken 3 weeks off work to be with the girls) and the discharge process was already well under way. This really just involved paperwork and a final check from the specialist paediatrician. Deb had the car already packed up so all that remained was to wait for Sophie to wake up and have a feed, then to say goodbye to everyone. We took her up to the Lab after that had happened to see my old work colleagues and then it was into the car and off to Medlab to see my current work colleagues, they presented us with a big box FULL of gifts which was very generous and thoughtful.

By the time we got her home she was out to it and so we just let her sleep in the capsule while we made up her bed. Grandma Bertie was at home doing Debs flowers when we got there, it really nice for her to be able to be here when we first got Sophie home, and we have also already had a visit from Grandad Harry as well.

The family bassinet, which she is going to be sleeping in was still on it way to us so we had to improvise.....

Yes that right, into the bath it was! it's as good as anything really, the right size and portable, once we got all her bedding into it you probably wouldn't even know. It's only for a day anyway because Auntie Beck and Grandma Judy are coming to visit today and will bring the Bassinet with them. We do have a cot set up in the nursery but she is going to be sleeping in our room for the first 6 months or so.

We have had endless warnings about how hard it is going to be having her at home. The nurses at the NNU said that we might feel a little bit fragile without their support at hand, but so far no worries there. There has also been a lot of quotes along the lines of "now you'll know the meaning of sleep deprivation" or "once you've got her home you'll be begging them to take her back", said partly in jest I think but still. I don't know what they were talking about. It might be a little premature (excuse the pun) because it has only been a day but really there doesn't seem to be anything more natural to us. It's like she has just been away somewhere and has come back, and things are getting back to how they were supposed to be. Maybe that has something to do with the gaping hole left in our lives by Sarah's absence, but if we can pull that positive out of it then I think she would like that. We plan to take Sophie down to Sarah at some point, today is a beautful sunny, still, warm day so it might be a good opportunity.

On a lighter note I just had to include this pic, this is her having her hearing test done, the electrode on her forehead can detect if she is hearing the sounds played into the headphones, clever. We reckon she looks like a little alien! or one of those "I'm so serious about MY music that I don't mind looking like a twat" iPod guys we used to see on the tube.

Well now that she is home and settled I guess that it is time to wrap up this blog. I am as yet undecided but if I do I will probably start another under a different heading, this was really supposed to be about her journey through her weeks of prematurity, and now she is nearly "full term" and home I think that it is time to either call it quits or start another general "Greenwood family" blog, similar to Rach's. What do you think?

T minus 1 day

It's official; Sophie and Deb are coming home tomorrow (Thursday).

Finally we get to be a family, without nurses, doctors, wards, tubes, monitors, incubators, and charts. We can be together without a 2km car or bike ride to get to each other. Sophie can be in her own bed and we can finally just be together. It seems like a small thing, but to us it is everything.

It has been a long road.

We did have a couple of last minute bumps in the road. First she failed her hearing test, only to have it repeated the next day and pass, this is apparently not unusual. She got a rash on her tummy, with had to be treated with an antibacterial cream. She also had her 6 week immunisations, after which she had to have her heart rate and oxygen saturation monitored for 24 hours, which meant going back out into the unit (she had been rooming in with Deb) for that period of time. But despite all this she managed to have about 9 feeds per day (with a target of 8 to 12) and put on 60g in 2 days, which is about the same that she put on over the whole weekend.

So, the discharge process is supposed to be all over by noon and then we hope to go and show her off at work before taking her home. Will let you know how it goes.

Just a quick note

I just had to let you know that we had a couple of exciting steps forward today. They have taken out Sophies feeding tube! This is because we are now going to trial her without any tube feeds AND she is going to be rooming in with Deb tonight. This is basically like a trial before going home, Sophie will be demand feeding and has been doing so for most of today. If she can do this OK and still put on weight (we will probably have to wait for Wednesdays weigh in to be sure) then she can come home.

Sleeping on Dad's shoulder without a feeding tube.

We really are on the home straight now, looking forward to it immensely.

To the support crew

We seem to still be on track for a mid to late next week release from jail. Sophie had 5 successful breast feeds yesterday and is on track for another 5 today, she will need to be up to 8 or 9 by go home time. We are very much in the routine of things at the moment, I suppose that given long enough you will eventually get used to anything! It is good knowing that there is an end in sight, and having a clear path to travel to achieve it is reassuring.

Bath Time again!

Hanging with Mum.

When we chose to come back to New Zealand, we chose New Plymouth to come back to because our main motivators in coming back to NZ were to have a safer and more child friendly environment in which to raise our children and because of the proximity to family and friends. The best decision we ever made.

How could we possibly be where we are today without the extraordinary level of support and help we have received from others. So here we go, and please note in no particular order of importance.

The staff of the hospital. Although we have been let down by them in a most spectacular way in the past, it is likely that this was the failing of an individual. The neonatal unit nurses have been our lifeline, so knowledgeable, helpful, caring and professional, always there for us to ask questions and never failing in their sterling unremitting level of care. The Doctors although largely absent, nameless and unknown to us should get a mention too.

Angie, I know I have mentioned you before but without you where would we be? I don't care to think about it, so thanks again.

Harry and Bertie, how could you ask for better Grandparents? Harry who has been like a surrogate Father to me when my own father could not be there, always there for help and advice, always able to fix it whatever might be broken and who could deny his amazing efforts in transforming our home? Bertie always there for Deb, her friend and mentor as well as Mother, she has selflessly helped keep us sane during this hard time and enabled Deb to concentrate on Sophie by taking over Debs flowers for her while she can't.

Mum, what can I say? Our very own Matriarch. Always the first person there for me to turn to in times of strife, always there to pick up the pieces and be a shoulder to cry on. For coming to us, for being there, for being you, thankyou.

The Hara crew, Maria, Jo, Beck and families. For coming despite the distance and inconvenience, for making us part of the family. You make our family what it is, keep on doing what you do guys, we are proud to be part of you.

Family further afield. Rach, Pete, Lorisa and families, advice and support from round the globe! We know that you would be here more if you could, and you will in time.

The Staff and Management at Taranaki Medlab, special mentions to Joy and John. They have made my life so much less stressful and difficult by being the most reasonable, flexible and understanding employers that a person could hope for.

Everyone who has given us gifts. Everyone we know has been incredibly generous, it is staggering the amount of gifts we have recieved. We hope to return the generosity someday to all of you, but it will take some doing.

To all our friends and visitors, we appreciate the support you have shown us just by coming to see us, or being someone to talk to.

And finally everyone who I have forgotten to mention, I have a memory like a sieve and so am bound to have forgotten someone who deserves a personal mention.

Thankyou!

I feel like the recipient of a TV or Movie award, only with a much better prize!

The end is in sight.

We finally got a tentative go home date! Wednesday or Thursday next week!

She would have been 36 weeks gestation on Tuesday and is 5 weeks old today.

Stoked, but it is going to take some work to get there, and as always it all depends entirely upon Sophie. She now no longer has the apnoea monitor on, this actually happened a few days ago but i forgot to tell you. As stated earlier though it all comes down to the feeding and whether she can get off tube feeds. Today we have tried doing two breast feeds in a row and then a tube feed, this hasn't been totally successful but she is still getting more breast feeds than she was, so progress nonetheless. The plan is to cut her down to 1 or 2 tube feeds a day over the weekend and then maybe stop them all together in the first half of next week. If this all happens according to plan then we can go home mid to late next week. We are looking forward to getting back to normal, such as it will be. Not having the hospital in our everyday lives will be a dream come true at the moment.

Deb has been shown how to measure out and administer her medications, not really medications as they are only a multi vitamin and iron supplements but they still have to be given as prescribed. This basically involves measuring out the correct volume or liquid and either putting it in her tube milk or dripping it into her mouth (for later when she doesn't have the tube).

Deb has moved into a better room now too, closer to the main ward and lounge, bigger and with windows to the outside world (which the old room didn't have). The only draw back being that there is no en suite bathroom which the other room did have.

There was a wee boy came in the other day, don't know exactly how old but only a newborn. He has pneumonia and the poor wee chap does not stop crying from dawn to dusk, he quite literally cries 24 hours a day without respite. Can you even imaging how distressing this must be for the parents, yet alone for him? He went into the isolation room because he had been in the community for a little bit, and this room can be closed off from the rest of the ward but you can still hear him, and it breaks your heart every time. His parents are both under 20, both smoke like trains and the Mum smoked during her pregnancy. I don't know if there is a link there, but it makes you wonder. This has also reminded us that no matter how bad things seem, there is always someone worse off than you.

Some thoughts on changing and dressing a baby.

First, and probably most important of all: HAVE THE NEW NAPPY READY BEFORE YOU START, I cannot emphasize this enough. As sure as the sun rises every morning and sets every evening so the baby will wee or poo or both the second you have that nappy off. Also have ready all the other things you will need, wipes, clothes, a cloth nappy to lie her on etc etc.

Second: Don't waste any time, their patience will only last so long.

Make sure all clothes are folded well up babys body before removing nappy, they WILL drape into the poo when you least expect it.

Don't ask how the poo got there, baby poo has magical powers and can teleport to anywhere on the babies body it feels the need to go.

Baby skin creases are deeper than you thought.

Whoever thought that pants for babies was a good idea was an idiot.

Keep cool when they start to gizzle, you CAN finish before the first cry, if you stay calm. If they do cry before you finish, resist the temptation to hand over to Mum.

Babies arms and legs have similar range of movement to your own, yes you can bend it at the elbow and it won't break. Try to get your head around the fact that they are facing you though, and so the movements are mirrored. This can take some getting used to; it is a long time since you dressed anyone except yourself.

Baby thumbs don't like to go where the rest of the hand is going, especially when it is going though a sleeve.

Just grab the foot and hold it still, as soon as you touch it with the booty they WILL kick so no point in mucking around eh.

Learn that male domes will only click into their female counterparts, no matter how hard you push.

If you think you can wrap those arms up enough to make them immobile, you are wrong, but try anyway.

When it is over, and you pick them up and look lovingly into their eyes and whisper that you love them, try not to be disappointed when you hear the rumble from down under. And yes, is was a poo not just a fart; you WILL have to start again.

I hope you enjoyed my observations, I know this is nothing new to a lot of you parents out there.

Constantly moving goal posts.

As predicted the little champ made the 2.5 kilo mark (2.54 to be exact) and was consequently taken off her fortifier, and up to 59ml per feed.

Baby steps for a baby girl.

The waking for every feed thing has been put on hold and at the moment they are trying to get her to breastfeed every second time, so every 6 hours. Honestly the management of her breastfeeding seems to change with the day of the week, it is really hard for me to even keep up with what is going on. I think that what will eventually happen is a progressive change to demand feeding, sometimes waiting to see if she will wake up and cue for feeds by herself and at other times just giving her a tube feed (if she doesn't wake up) with the final goal of her being exclusively demand breastfed. Once that has happened and she continues to gain weight at an appropriate rate she can come home, oh Hallelujah and happy days, I am looking forward to that day so much I try not to even think about it.

Here is the video as promised on facebook:

This is what she does when she can find a break in her busy schedule of sleeping, weeing, pooing, sucking, hiccoughing, grizzling, sneezing and the odd bath.

For those of you not on facebook, here are the pics I put on today again.

Isn't she just adorlable? Well I think so anyway.

Finally I want just just give a big thanks to everyone who has left feedback and advice. I really appreciate you taking the time to leave your comments and your thoughts and experiences are of great interest and very helpful. At the very least it lets me know people are tuning in and taking an interest, which makes this whole exercise worthwhile. Keep up the good work. Oh and I have had three people recommend La Leche League so i will encourage Deb to give them a call once we are home, but I suppose at the end of the day it will be up to her. They might think it a bit odd if a guy gave them a call!

Till next time.....

Blue, Brown, Green or Hazel?

Weight = 2460g as of Wednesday, 40 away from the 2.5Kg needed for her to be taken off the fortifier.

Feeds = having 3 - 4 goes on the breast per day and not getting tube top ups, up to 55ml per feed.

Baby steps for a baby girl.

So the plan at the moment is for her to get off the fortifier first, this will almost defiantly happen tomorrow because she will be over the 2.5 Kilo mark at tomorrows weigh in. This will unfortunately mean a check in her rate of weight gain but is a necessary step towards getting her home. Then they will start trying to wake her for every feed and see how she goes with that, this seems like a big leap to expect her to make as at the moment she only managing up to 4 feeds a day from the breast and so will be almost doubling that at a stroke, I guess we wills see though. Also those that have read the article that Rach so kindly linked us to in her last comment will know that breast feeding works much better when it is demand driven. I don't know whether they intend to keep her strictly to the 3 hour schedule she is on now when they start waking her or not, I certainly will be quizzing them about it. It might be that as she will be getting tube top ups at every feed all of the well referenced evidence referred to in the article might be irrelevant to her situation. For those of you who missed the article, click HERE it is well worth the read.

One other thing of note is that she has been started on Iron supplements, not because she is known to be iron deficient but rather as a just is case, something they do for all the premmies apparently.

We bathed her tonight, not a daily occurrence (on advice from the Nurses) which she really seems to love. It seems to be a great way to wake her up too, not that that was the main objective but a welcome side effect nonetheless. She just LOVES bathtime already, she seems really relaxed and alert, kicks around the place and is a generally an all round gorgeous, active, engaging, sweet little girl. It makes me very happy to see it, a glimpse I hope of what she might be like all the time when she is older, I can certainly envisage a time when we have to pull the plug on the bath to get her out of it! A tactic that had to be used on me once upon a time.

I can't wait to see what colour her eyes are going to be. She will be beautiful either way of course and we can make a fairly good guess that they will be brown but the genes for blue are in her pedigree so who knows. It is quite a strange thing that the eye colour should take so long to come through. I suppose I will just have to wait.

More pictures to come.

The family has landed.

We had Debs (or was it Sophies?) baby shower yesterday and it was a great success thanks in no small part to the Hara Brigade. They showed up in force, brought everything one might need for such an event, food and snacks galore and a wonderful new sheepskin for Sophie, took charge and got everything sorted. This was great as we had only been back in the house for 5 minutes when they showed up, having been at our home away from home most of that day (I had also had to work in the morning). So thanks to everyone who came and helped and participated, and gave such wonderful gifts, we appreciate the time you take out especially when you have to drive all the way from Hara first to be with us and show us your support, and to those who couldn't be there for reasons out of your control we thank you as well for your support from afar and your positive feedback.

Check out the Cheesy grin on Rachel!

A lucky few were able to come down to the Hospital afterwards and see Sophie, she was due for a feed anyway and woke up for it. We got some photos of the oldest and youngest of the Greenwood cousins, that is to say of Rach and Soph together, which was cool. Sophie put on a display of smiles and general gorgeousness that we were all proud of, she doesn't have to try hard to be gorgeous though :)

This one is Sophie getting burped, we just thought that she looked so cute even with her face all mooched into Deb's hand.

Finger in the ear! This happened just as her next door neighbor Charlotte was breaking into one of her very frequent wailing sessions. I guess it was one of those "you had to be there" moments but still made for a good photo.

I have to admit to getting my information a little wrong, they did on one or two occasions suck out the contents of her stomach to see how much she had been able to get from the breast but it turns out that it is not a routine thing. They do always aspirate some fluid but it is only to check that the tube is actually in her stomach. They test the pH of the aspirate which should be acid, if it is not then the tube might be in her lungs, in which case putting milk down might be a catastrophic thing to do. So for the most part we are playing the guessing game that most new parents make with the exception that we have to put an actual number on it so that they can top her up to her full feed (49ml now). Rach you are quite right when you say that the inexactness of all this rubs me the wrong way, but I will have to just get used to it eh. She had three attempts at the breast today and counting, and we have also discovered that it is probably best not to let her comfort suck for extended periods of time but to just take her off and give her a tube top up, this is much more convenient for Deb anyway.

Back to work tomorrow, the start of another week of disrupted lives and long long days. Every time we say goodbye to Sophie we say "sleep and grow Sophie", if only it could happen a bit quicker.

The Doldrums

We are really starting to hit the doldrums now, after the initial rush of progress and milestones we are hitting an area of calm seas. She is doing great really, continues to gain weight at a steady rate and is healthy and happy (for the most part). The process of getting her off tube feeding however is a long and slow one, owing mostly to the fact that she was just so early. She is spending longer and longer on the breast, up to an hour at a time but it is not solid effective sucking and swallowing the whole time, she has long periods of comfort sucking with short burst of effective sucking. Last time she got about 7ml, they know this because they can suck it back out her tube before they tube feed her. Her total feed is now 45ml because it goes up as her weight increases, so you can see she still has some ways to go.

I got another few good smiles today, which was great and really does seem to make it feel not so bad. I feel frustrated that I cannot be at the hospital with them more, the days at work feel very long now. I keep telling myself that it is not forever and that it is worth being back at work now so I can be home with them when the time comes but it is starting to wear thin. Deb and I have never been separated like this for this long and it sucks.

The next thing is that the unit is getting packed now, I think they must be at capacity. Our little room that we had to just Nikarhn and us has now got four, two of which are in incubators so it is significantly more crowded. Some of the other families are not easy to get on with either, the weird hat wearing lady who came in and woke Sophie the other day is right next to us, Deb says she swears like a trooper too, what crap luck. At least Deb has her room down there and we can just kidnap Sophie and go hang out down there by ourselves, and it is less likely that she will be kicked out now as most of the other babies are younger or further away from going home than Sophie.

She is still not out of the woods but the path is getting clearer and the trees thinner, we can't quite see the edge of the forest but we know that it is there, somewhere.

Sorry about no pics but there just didn't seem to be anything new to make it worth getting the camera out.

Mummys a silly clogs

I discovered two new things today, things that have been going on for a while but it has just taken a little while for me to realise.

The first is that Sophie has a nickname that we and everyone at the unit has been using since she was born: "Miss Sophie", everyone calls her that, so much so that I think it has begun to stick. We don't mind it, and I guess most nicknames are given unintentionally so if that is what she is going to be known as in the unit then thats OK. Oh, and they don;t just call all the girls Miss, it is only her, maybe it says something about her personality already.

The second thing is that Deb and I have discovered a new way of communicating. We have discovered that you can say things to one another by ostensibly talking to Sophie. For example, I say to Sophie "Mummy's going to turn the naughty light off isn't she? Yes she is" said in a cutesy baby voice translates as "Deb will you please turn the light off". This works quite well and you can even be quite cheeky and get away with it, for example "Mummy's a silly clogs isn't she, Mummy doesn't know what she is talking about Eh? No she doesn't" means..... Well I will let you figure it out.

Something else I learnt today is that Sophie was the most popular girls name in New Zealand for 2008! We had no idea about this when we chose the name, in fact we do not know any other baby Sophies at all, nor even heard of any. Lilly comes in at number 6, Sophia at 21 , Sarah at 32 and Sofia at 88. Interesting. Click HERE for the full list.

Bye Nikarhn.

Weight = 1995g a 145g increase in 3 days, go Sophie.

Feeds = 3 hourly, had 2 goes on the breast today and got a little milk.

Baby steps for a baby girl.

We had a bit of Daddy daughter time today while Mum went to her SANDS meeting, we were just chilling, Dad watching Tele in the lounge while Sophie slept. It was nice until some rude young girls came in and talked over the tele loud enough to wake Sophie, some people just have no manners or sense. They didn't care either.

Sophie's boyfriend went home today. Nikarhn was the first premmie we met in the NNU, his Mum Jessie let us have a look at him when we did a tour through the unit the day before Sophie was born. He was about 5 days longer gestation and born 4 days before Sophie, his birth weight was exactly the same as Sophie and was therefore roughly a week ahead of her the whole way. It has been strange because he and Jessie have been a constant presence in the unit the whole time we have been there, his milestones coming about a week before Sophie and so giving us a heads up what to expect. Now they are home and we are still there :( The more astute amongst you will be now thinking, 'great, Sophie will be home in a week', but alas this is not necessarily the case. For a start Nikarhn was bottle fed, making it easier for him to get off tube feeding, and we also think that his Mum took him home early against advice because of home pressures, a shame really because if it all goes pear shaped and he has to come back then he will have to be in isolation, not fun and not good for him. We are going to take our time with this and get it right, she comes home when she is ready, and not before.

Still we troop on......

My diatribe on the philosophy of procreation.

Grandma Judy, Aunty Becky and Cousin Lily came to visit today. So we just had to take the opportunity to get some cutesy pics and video didn't we? So without further ado, here they are:

Simultaneous booby action!

Sharing a blanket.

In our Shawls that Grandma made us

Stop here, unless you want to hear me rant. Continue at your own risk.

We had an incident the other night, quite off topic but it really got me thinking. I seem to do a lot of that lately. Deb was staying at home and she had been getting up every three hours, as is her custom these days, it was 1:30am and half way in between two of her night time sojourns and we hear this flip flap patter patter thump on the bedroom floor. Our initial reaction was, 'oh, Gizmo has come to bed' but soon realised that there was more too it than that and so, very reluctantly I got up to investigate. To my horror I found our usually perfectly mild mannered and kind natured cat playing with an only half dead and remarkably beautiful Tui. She did it with the same casual playfulness and semi interest that she might with any cat toy we might buy her, indifferent to the suffering she was causing the beautiful bird. The real tragedy of it being that she was never going to eat it, just caught it and tortured it to death because she could, and because it is in her nature to do so.

It was this life and death drama being played out on our bedroom floor that got me started, contemplating the incredible beauty and cruelty of life. That we can, with relatively little active input create another Human being, and not just any Human being but one that is a fusion of Deb and Me, half me and half her and alive, kicking and as individual as all other people is so gobsmackingly incredible as to be almost too much to contemplate.

Now I have a very good understanding of the biology that makes this all possible, probably better than most. From the anatomy and physiology of humans, right down to the cellular, genetic and molecular level. I can put all this knowledge together in my head and know that it is possible and how. All this said, the science can't explain the perfection in beauty that is created at the end of it. The whole is truly more than the sum of it parts, even though the sum of the parts would in and of itself be extraordinary beyond words. How could anyone think that there is anything more worthwhile to do with ones life than to create these wonderful little miracles? It is the ultimate culmination of all our efforts in our short time here.

The scientist in me is now telling me that all this is nothing more than my biological drive to further the species and pass on my genes talking. If that is the case then so be it, bit it doesn't change anything I said.

I guess my point here is that having children certainly changes our outlook on life.

Sorry to bore you all, if you bothered to read it that is. I will try to stay more on topic from now on.